The Betty Pages sprung out of some conversations Betty Desire a local drag queen and I were having in a gay bar. These editorials may be out of context now and were written for a local audience in the Bellingham area. but I am sure readers everywhere can make some sense of parts of them.

The Morning After

December 2004

Sexual freedom in all its forms whether to marry who you want have sex with who you want or to look at what you want took a real beating in the last election. The majority of those who voted do not want you to be free to have sex when and with whomever you want. To paraphrase an old movie line we live in the land of the "mostly free". I have no doubt this will change, but it will take a long time. The battle has started in the streets and the courts, and the enemy has taken it to the ballot box. Unfortunately minorities have a harder time winning in that venue. I started out writing a strategy for what I thought we needed to do to wage this campaign. Then I thought why? Why not just play, get laid and have some fun with my life for a while. No revenge is sweeter than living well. So live really well.

No doubt there are a few on the other side whose sex drives are so muted they really are not missing anything, but for the majority of those in that Christian Coalition envy over sexual freedom is best rubbed in their noses once in a while. They resent a slut because a slut has more fun. Well this slut plans on some fun. I also plan on letting people know exactly how much fun I'm having. That is what I recommend to each of you. Go live well. Find some joy in the people around you and suck on it until your cheeks ache.

That alone is not enough to exact the revenge I seek for people who want us to live by a restricted outdated, and unfair moral code. No I want you to be sure they know how much joy you're getting from those around you that make your libido sing. Then I want to you let people know how much you love your life and how happy you are. Let them see the happiness your relationships create in you. This is a lot like bearing witness, something Christians are called upon to do on occasion. It is leading by example.

I do not mean doing things that are going to be counter productive. Some folks do not want the details of what went where and how much lube it took. But they can know you as someone who practise an alternative lifestyle (I wish there was a better term), and they can see you really happy with that lifestyle. And really happy with every other facet of your life as well.

Too often one of the arguments against anything that goes against the grain is the increased number of suicides, and depressions suffered by that population. In my own opinion the cause and effect are all backwards here. Homosexuality does not cause depression, or suicide. But, the way homosexuals are treated by their peers and the rest of the community cold cause depression. It is a bad cycle no matter whether you are gay, polyamorous, a swinger or have some other fetish in a list too long to print. Well im saying break that, and if you have already broken it, help a friend break it. Help someone get mentally healthy enough so they too can bear witness to the joy of whatever your kink or bent is.

This is not going to change any political landscape or turn any red states blue. But it will get you laid, or whatever else you need to turn your crank. And that is just as important. It's more about taking care of yourself and those you love. One important way to take care of your lovers is to make sure their have their daily dose of endorphins and other happy chemicals our bodies produce when we are touched stroked and receive other more extreme sensations from our partners.

I am relying on Bible examples in this column so here is another one. About having a timber in your eye while you are trying to get the sliver out of your neighbors. Sometimes we can ignore our own issues if we look outward and concentrate on other problems. I am saying take some personal time and get each and everyone of our own houses in order. We will be much stronger when the time comes for us to change the world.

Sooner or later that opportunity will arrive, and part of being ready is being healthy and happy when it does.

And if you're out there right now thinking you are not having fun, well get to it, go meet some new people who think like you do and make some joy. Get a relationship going and get happy about it.